In the spirit of the season here are some suggestions for resolutions I'd like to see some people make:
Britney Spears: please resolve to wear panties and act like a grown up because no one needs to see your beaver (again).
Red Sox: Please get some bullpen help and stop messing with the infield which was never the problem. Get more bats around Papi.
US government: Finalize a plan for a speedy, organized and peaceful transfer of democratic power to the Iraqi people and get our boys home. We must have smart enough people to figure that out.
My book club: Ladies, let's resolve to all read the books (guilty!) and spend more time actually discussing them. I need the social aspect as much as anyone, but I would like to return to having some deeper discussions which seem to have become taboo since the "Life of Pi" incident.
Artie Lange: Please resolve to get your shit together before you flame out like Bruce, Belushi, Kinison and Farley. It's a great list that you don't want to be on.
Sylvestor Stallone: Please promise us no more Rocky films or action heroes. I liked you in Copland and would rather see you in a smaller role than watch you try to keep these old franchises on life support. Talk to Harrison Ford.
