So as soon as forty hits me, I immediately felt older. I realize logically that it's got to be in my head, but I swear to God it's real. The first of the delightful new ailments I encountered soon after turning 40 was untimely bouts of narcolepsy. I literally cannot keep my eyes open and all I want to do is give in to the urge to sleep. I carpool every day to work with my BIL Joe, and since my dreaded birthday, there have been at least 3 mornings when i literally could NOT stay awake while I was driving to work. My eyelids were being sucked together by a force far greater than gravity. This NEVER EVER happened before and we've driven this same route for years.
so now I have to surrender the wheel to him, and then I get to curl up in the fetal position in the oh-so-warmly heated passenger seat with my faced all smushed up shar-pei-like against the window, under my blue LL Bean down cocoon, and then it starts....I'M SNORING!! I can hear myself starting to snore and I'm like OH MY FRIGGIN GOD is that me! Joe is snickering with his tee hee hee inappropriate laughter because his forties are almost up and he knows what other "treats" lie ahead for me.
Second joy of the season is the premature loss of my mental faculties. Yes, I've lost my keys before (alot), forgotten why i went upstairs, yada yada, but since the big four-0, I've lost my blackberry twice and misplaced my IPod for several weeks until my husband found it yesterday in a cutlery crock in the kitchen (!) I also lost my work ID, and then I lost the temporary ID they gave me to use until my new ID came (which you guessed it - I lost!). So now I'm on some sort of double secret probation with Corporate Services - they've given me this bright blue lanyard to wear around my neck like a scarlet letter screaming out that I am losing my marbles.
However, to my surprise I do find wearing the lanyard strangely liberating. I don't have to spend 10 minutes trying to find my ID just to go to the toilet - it's right there with me. Out to lunch - bada bing - I'm ready! And every morning when I get to work I just reach into my huge morass of a bag and feel around for that trusty polyester lanyard string, give it a good tug, and voilà - I'm in! It's been a big help these days since i'm so sleepy. And I know forsaking fashion for function is a sure sign of aging. Next I'll be wearing those groovy beaded things to keep me from losing my glasses...(again!)
